Pair. and a Spare.

One of the most important tools of dating these days is definitely texting.  It’s exciting, stressful, and most importantly.. we use it for playing THE game in dating.

But some of the things, that are definitely easier said than done.. even for me, I’ve picked up along the way.  I’m going to use my girl S as an example of what you need to remember when you’re jumping back in the game.

The most important thing, above all, is never. ever. stress out over texts.  And it’s hard, because all guys in one time or another have acted reckless on their phone.. there have been so many times where a guy I’m dating will talk to me crazy, and it takes everything not to pop off at him (and well.. sometimes I have anyways.. err).

Ok. So my best girl S is dating this new boy.  She’s been super focused on getting her masters up in NYC (Ivy league education say whaatttt), getting her career on point, and overall living and adjusting to life up north.  So finally, it’s time. She’s an original boss, but it’s stressful and tricky getting back into the game.. She reminded me how the initial leap back can be.. So this is for all y’all old pros, or newly back at it girls (and my lovely married girls living vicariously through us haha). 

— Always expect the best. Until proven otherwise.  It’s hard, trust me. Especially when you’ve been caking with him all afternoon, then all of a sudden he goes ghost.  Chances are, he’s taking a nap, driving, or got caught up doing something. It’s probably never you. Unless y’all were in a fight (which also. don’t do on text/email. No records of the minutia and little scuffles is better for everyone.)

— Don’t initiate shit. Especially in the beginning.  Once you’re the gf/wifey, that shit doesn’t matter. But it is crucial right at the start.  We’re busy women.  I don’t have time to sit next to my phone and jump whenever I see the light blink.  (and if you do, he doesn’t have to know that.)  Let him initiate, wait a bit to respond, then let him get back to you. The worst thing you could do is send successive texts without anything in between from him.  It makes you look crazy. or at the very least. needy.  

— Walk away.  I know we’ve all been there one time or another. Obsessively checking our phones because what if we didn’t hear the buzz.. or if the light at the top all of a sudden went out.. or WHY THE FUCK HASN’T HE TEXTED BACK.  Hi, crazy.  I know it’s stressful.. especially when, as a girl, it’s easier to obsess about that than focus on things we need to really be doing (what? school? work? nah dog.)  Walk. away.  Go for a run (a long one), put your phone in your car, or leave it at home.  The less stress the better.  Online shopping also works well.. 

— Be cool.  If he’s acting nuts on the phone.. keep it short and sweet.. and keep it in check.  The last thing you want to happen is an opportunity for a record of your crazy pop off for him to show his friends or later justify why you’re not seeing each other.  If he’s been missing, don’t say “hey stranger.” Nothing is more annoying. (think about if your girlfriend sent you that.  Obnoxious.)  Take some time to respond to his out of the blue text.. then say you’ve been busy. Don’t even mention the fact he’s been missing.. that means you’ve been thinking about it.  Be responsive.. but not over the top excited to talk to him. He needs to EARN it.

—Three Strikes.  And I’ve added an adjective to your name to remind me of who you even are.  Other than that, you’ve been forgotten.  Why not just delete it? B/c we all know that never works. That shouldn’t hinder you from responding “I’m sorry, who is this?” to a random text from him.  Some of my favorites in my phone are Lady Face, Unemployed, and Ginger Cunt.  Just little reminders.

And all of it should be fun, y’all.  It’s a nice distraction, and a critical to dating.  I love it.. especially since I hate phone calls.  It’s made getting back in the game so simple.  

Lastly — link to this clever Thought Catalog about general texting.. enjoy y’all.