Pair. and a Spare.

I have been on a lot. and I mean a LOT of first dates.   A lot of them aren’t even worth mentioning on here, because they all generally fall into the same category.  Uninteresting.  Not even interesting in a weird intriguing or even funny.. or even creepy way.  Just, nothing.  Number deleted.  

So I’ve come up for some rules for myself that help me along.. and figs y’all might get some use out of them too.

Well first.. the set up.  Some of these kids online will take your number.. then call right away and make plans.  Good.  Some will take it and then wait a day.. which I like better b/c it’s less eager beaver for me.  Then.. there are some that wait a week. or more.  an then call/text and act like you are still interested. Pass. You missed your window.  3 days after giving you my number and no touching base?  I’m done.

[You’ll also find some guys that love texting.  They don’t make plans.. they just want someone to text all day to about their days, and what you’ve got going on.  It’s freaking weird, and I’m/we’re too busy for that shit.  I’ve cut them off quick.]

Ok. so 1?  NEVER let him pick you up.  Stranger danger is real y’all.  Don’t give him the address to your house until many dates later.. just to make sure he’s not a stalker or a psychopath. A few dates won’t rule that out.. but it sure helps.  And trust your gut.. always.

2.  Don’t drink too much. Before. or during.  I’ve broken this way too many times.. and sometimes it ends up working out (I don’t get sloppy.. but I can see that I was close), or it doesn’t (I get sloppy.. or too chatty.  it’s nervewracking to first date!).  Either way. Don’t.  Have a glass of wine/ONE beer to calm your nerves if you need to.. and don’t order the 2nd bottle during dinner.  Blame an early work day (or workout is even better).

3.  Be punctual.  I like getting there exactly on time (which usually means early.. then hiding in my car texting friends and fixing my makeup) just to see how punctual he really is.  Important things.

4. Set a time limit.  One of my best/worst dates was one that lasted almost 5 hours.  Drinks turned to dinner turned to bar hopping.. turned to making out in a bar(s).. and a great connection. But no call/text ever again.  It was too much on one date.  Say how much you would love to stay longer.. but again.. early morning workout (look at how fit you are girl!).

5.  If it sucks, leave in no earlier than 10 minutes.. but no longer than 30.  Give him/you some time to warm up.. but then.. if it’s like pulling teeth (or he clearly lied about his profile.. or gained a ton of weight.. etc), be polite and say it was nice to meet you.. and leave.  Chances are he’ll think it went great and he sucks at picking up on social cues.. but be direct with him in text if needed.  It’s feels good for you, and now he knows.

6. Kiss on the first date.. but no making out.  You are a LADY after all.  Keep him wanting more, etc etc.  And def no fucking if you’re trying to be wifey. 

Then never initiate a text again (until post-3rd date).  He should follow up either that night or the next few days about how he had a great time on the date, and he’d love to do it again.  You’re busy, so you take a few hours to respond.. and then if you want to.. set up another one.  The great thing about a pair and a spare (and being in grad school/working) you legitimately are busy.. so it’s not a stretch. And you’re not even thinking twice about this one boy who doesn’t deserve your attention yet because it’s only date 1.  

I love a good first date.  And sometimes you’ll have a phenomenal one.  The guy I’m dating now (only ONE y’all.. and I’m his girlfriend..? more on that later. the writer), and I had a great first date.  They’re not that nervewracking once you get the hang of it.. then you can weed out the shitty stock from the ones that are better on par with you.