Pair. and a Spare.

This is obviously a throwback.. but one “relationship” (or something) that taught me a lot of the game.

Just after I found out my HS bf cheated on my (oh, after 5 years) and before we got back together (yeah, I was a dummy back in those days), I was on a mission to keep my mind off him.  My friends were amazing, no surprise, so I had ample distractions from real life.

One of my older wild girl mentors invited me to my first Triangle Beach Music Festival, a yearly tradition in NC, where girls dress up in sundresses and boys end up shirtless by noon.. and everyone day drinks to beach music.  It’s kicked off usually at 8 am with jello shots and shotgunning beers.. obviously, classy y’all.  

Here is where I meet the Rebound.  Tall, handsome, and flirty.  Just how I like them.  We danced, made out, all drunk. and before 2pm.  Some pics were taken, but that’s it. No numbers were exchanged or anything.  Then the next day, I get a call from him.. he had a friend that recognized me in the picture and gave him my number (it would be weird, but remember this is college.. and not the real world..) and we made plans to go on a date.  Dinner, drinks, and dancing.  All the makings of romance.  And exactly what I was looking for after my breakup.  It seemed perfect.  He was funny, got along with my friends, was athletic, (huge dick.. err), and we got along great.  Just the kind of guy I could really date after HSbf (not mentioning that I was in no way mentally ready to jump into a new relationship.. but who wants to listen to that noise), and if he saw us together, I would rub in his face.  

However, this was before the 6 date rule (no sleeping together until 6 dates).  I waited 2.  And honestly, tried at date 1.  I was trying to convey that I was a “cool” girl.. sexually open and was really into him.  More on that rule later.. but never (with the exception of one of my girls) has it ever worked out when you sleep together on the first date.  Even though it goes well for a few weeks.. it never actuallyy ends up in a relationship.  You’ve set the standard too early.. and you’re too easy.  Not a good look. 

So we date. Are FOTR. All that nonsense. Even do fancy dates, where he opens my car door, pulls out the chair for me, and reserves the “best spot in the restaurant” for us to eat.  This all sounds like wifey track to me, right?  Clearly I was wrong.  

Not to mention the fact that I would let a lot of things slide based on the fact that I liked him.. oh you forgot to call? that’s fine.. let’s still keep our plans and let you walk all over me.  Oh, you use the phrase “that’s what she says” almost at every opportunity? Perfect! (eyeroll).  And you’re still obsessed with your ex, and pretend like you’re over it? No. Big. Deal.  Things I wouldn’t stand for nowadays.  But, I was blind by the rebound and the fact that I was so desperately trying to get over my ex.  

Things start to cool off.. and I call him out on it.  Because we “had” a “great thing” (or something) and he can’t act like we weren’t “dating” (FOTR).  What was better, was that we were in a summer class together (which of course was small, and of course we got put into even smaller groups together).  I always dressed up to class. Sat in the vicinity of him, made friends with everyone to show how nice I was, and overall made it clear that I was over him.

Until my 21st birthday.  I found out that he was dating this new girl (which I actually think he’s still dating, 4 years later. no ring. hm.) who had a plain face and a tragic personality. But y’all. I was OVER him. Right? Then let’s fast forward to the night.. high heels, high hair, and lots (and lots) of liquor later.  I text him (find it in the morning). Simply “Kill Yourself.”

Whoops.  I still showed up to class the next day. Very hungover, but managed to pull it together. Sit at the front of the class. And never looked back. Or apologized.  Unfriended him, and lesson(s) learned.